The drive was quiet but pleasant. Jessica’s nerves had calmed substantially, and Sasha had gotten over the fact that there was no Jacob. Even though the privacy barrier was up both girls diverted away from the heavier subject that needed to be aired. Instead they busied themselves with trivial small talk.
The privacy barrier lowered an inch and Jonathan whispered without looking at the mirror, “We’re almost here ladies.” the barrier raised again and Sasha chuckled at the awkward young man.
“I suppose he’s letting us know so that we can stop kissing and get dressed.” she joked with the beaming brunette. Jessica responded with a giggle trying her best to ignore the twinge of excitement that came with such a suggestion. It may be silly to Sasha, but to Jessica it would have been a perfect highlight to an otherwise dreadful weekend.
“Will your roommate be home?” Jessica asked, trying not to sound suggestive.
“Nah, she’ll be busy with that guy still.” Sasha replied. She frowned and continued, “Honestly I don’t know how she does it.”
“Does what?” Jessica asked fiddling with her purse and not looking at Sasha.
“She meets these guys at the bar and like…within 24 hours she’s got them wrapped around her finger and has dropped them by the end of the weekend.” Sasha shook her head. “I don’t get it. You know?”
“No, I don’t know. What part aren’t you getting?” she asked honestly.
“Well like, I don’t think I could do that. Just meet someone and then be so sexual with them….” Sasha stopped and looked at Jessica.
Jessica smiled, “I think if circumstances were different tonight you might have been able to.” she winked and Sasha laughed at her own hypocrisy.
“Ok…ok…ya you’ve got me there. I was totally going to slut it up with your ex if he was here.” Sasha laughed again.
Jessica smiled but didn’t laugh. She wasn’t insulted by what Sasha had said, but it had made her think.
“Oh….sorry…I..I didn’t offend you I hope.” Jessica shook her head slowly. “I just mean, well…you’re pretty and all but you don’t have….a…” she paused then decided to continue to be blunt, “….you don’t have a cock.” she finished giggling to herself.
Jessica smiled, “That’s true, but there are things that men just don’t know how to do right…” she let the statement hang in the air for Sasha to digest.
The redhead cocked her head to the side and giggled nervously, “This is true….very true.” she laughed again as the car came to stop.
Jonathan jumped out and circled the vehicle just as he had before, opening Sasha’s door and offering his hand, “We’ve arrived ladies.”
The two chimed together, “Thank you.” as each were gently pulled out and deposited on the sidewalk with care.
“Is that it for this evening?” Jonathan asked politely.
“I think so yes.” Sasha replied, looking at Jessica and then back at the young chauffeur.
“Very good then.” Jonathan nodded and started back around the vehicle.
“Wait, don’t I owe you?” Sasha blurted.
“No, it’s quite alright. I’ll see you tomorrow for another study session.”
“Sounds good smarty pants.” Sasha quipped and winked at the young man. Jonathan smiled nervously and quickly got into the car. A moment later he was on his way off into the night.
Sasha turned back to Jessica and smiled, “Cute guy right?” she asked the brunette.
“Yeah….a little….odd though isn’t he?”
“Well he’s allowed to be odd.” Sasha replied, “He’s a certified genius.” she informed, “and he has a gigantic…” she stopped herself mid sentence and realized with horror what she was about to reveal, “…brain.” she finished. Looking over at Jessica nervously.
Jessica just nodded none the wiser about Sasha’s near gaff. “Oh…ok. If you say so.” she smiled.
Sasha returned her smile then pointed towards the large brick building, “Well we better head in then.” she offered and walked ahead.
Jessica nodded again and followed the pretty redhead, doing her best to not stare at Sasha’s ass, and failing quite miserably; just as Jonathan had before her.
Sasha turned to look over her shoulder and caught Jessica mid stare but smiled and kept walking. She supposed it was a compliment regardless and grinned to herself feeling a sudden surge of self esteem.
The two women walked up the stairs in relative silence. The first showing the way and pretending she was unaware of the other’s eyes. The second following, and completely mesmerized.
When they finally reached the top step Sasha turned to look at Jessica. The look on the brunette’s face was that of a kid caught with a mitt full of stolen candy. She looked sheepish and started to blush, “Did you enjoy the view?” Sasha asked with playful maliciousness. Jessica nodded slowly in response, unable to utter a single word. Sasha giggled and turned to walk back down the hallway as Jessica followed the second puppy of the day.
After fiddling with the door Sasha managed to push it open and walked allowed Jessica to walk through. Even though she didn’t intend on it, Sasha looked at Jessica’s ass in turn. “I don’t have tea, but I do have coffee.” Jessica turned to face Sasha.
“Do you have any alcohol?” she inquired hopefully.
“Hey….this is student housing…..of course we have alcohol!” Sasha retorted chuckling as she closed the door and locked it. She wandered through the kitchen and into the pantry. She met Jessica in the living room with a selection of coolers, beers, and wines. “Pick your poison.” she offered.
Jessica grabbed a fruity vodka cooler and sat back down on the couch. Sasha grabbed a bottle of wine, uncorked it and sat down opposite the brunette.
“Sooooooo.” Sasha started, not sure how to start the conversation.
Jessica took a big gulp of her cooler and smirked, “Yeah….so…am I the first bi girl you’ve invited back to your apartment?” she laughed and then blushed. Jessica had calculated a revised trajectory for this evening and this is how it started.
Sasha took the bottle away from her mouth and snorted in a laugh, “I think so yep.” she paused for a moment, and then continued, “Honestly you’re the first person other than Jonathan that I’ve ever invited back here.”
Jessica wasn’t expecting this, “Jonathan….you…invited…him…”
“No not like that.” she laughed again. “I didn’t want him waiting in the car so I told him to wait up here.” Sasha clarified.
Jessica relaxed for a moment then continued, “Seriously though? No one? Why? You’re kind of hot.” she chuckled and took a sip of her own cooler while watching Sasha take another large gulp of wine.
“Yes well….I don’t really get that sort of attention.” Sasha admitted. “I’m like not the one people notice.” she sighed and continued, “Everyone always notices Iria. I’m just Iria’s friend, or Iria’s roommate. Or the redhead that Iria hangs with.”
“I noticed you first in your pictures before Iria.” Jessica said honestly, raising her cooler and nodding to add emphasis.
“Well that’s sweet of you to say….” Sasha replied, “but…uh..but…” she stopped talking for a moment trying to focus. The drinks at the hotel and the quick gulp of wine at home had already started to make her head cloud up. Sasha suddenly became sullen and frowned without saying another word.
“What’s wrong?” Jessica asked, the concern in her voice quiet sincere.
“No…it’s….it’s nothing.” Sasha frowned and fiddled with the bottle. She looked at the label and ignored her guest for a moment getting agitated each moment that passed.
“Clearly it’s something. What is it that you want to say?” Jessica pushed. There was a tension in the air that was palpable. Jessica could feel butterflies swirling in her stomach as she waited for Sasha to explain herself.
“I’m just….well…I’m kind of pissed at you.” Sasha admitted looking up at the brunette. Her eyes glowed with both anger and frustration.
Jessica looked down at her drink and hung her head, “I know….I…I’m sorry…”
“No you don’t understand.” Sasha continued, raising her voice slightly in annoyance. “I was really looking forward to meeting you….well…you the Jacob you.” She sighed, “But you stole that away from me. You pretended to be something you’re not and now….I don’t know…I’m…I’m just mad.”
“I know…I know..” Jessica shook her head and sniffled.
“No…you don’t get to cry this time. It’s my turn to cry.” Sasha interjected before Jessica could take the spotlight away from her. “I don’t get moments like this.” Sasha pleaded, not with Jessica but with the universe as a whole. “I don’t get the guy. I never get the guy. Iria gets the guy. My friends get the guy. But I’m the outcast redhead on the side. Like some untouchable diseased rodent.” Sasha chest began to pound and there was a pain in her throat welling up with repressed emotions.
Jessica for her part stayed silent and nodded, listening to her vent. She nervously played with her drink, rotating it in her hand and picking at the label.
“You know when the last time I was kissed….like…really kissed?” Sasha asked rhetorically. “In the eleventh grade!” Sasha clenched her eyes tight and balled her hands in to fists, “It’s not fucking fair.” she moaned, “I deserve to be kissed, I deserve to have a good man, but all I get is this fake attention. People online paying attention to me, telling me this or that just so I keep slutting it up for them but it’s not really…real…” she opened her eyes and gestured to Jessica. “I really fucking liked you. You know that?” Sasha sobbed and sudden trickle of tears cascaded down her flushed cheeks before plummeting to the carpet below. “I was like, finally a guy that gets me…..finally a guy that sees me for me…who wants me for me….”
Jessica shifted in her seat uncomfortably. Every instinct told her she should go and hold her. Pull her close, stroke her hair and tell her she’s beautiful. Tell her that anyone would be lucky to be with her. But instead Jessica remain stationary in a limbo between what she should do and what she thought Sasha wanted her to do.
“…and then it turns out that this great guy I’ve been talking to for ages. Sending messages back and forth all night. Telling him about my day. Telling him about how I feel. Listening how he’s doing. What his dreams are. What he hopes to get out of life.” she looked at Sasha with pain filled daggers in her eyes, “but this great guy turns out to be a girl….it’s like…what the fuck?” Sasha closed her eyes and hung her head. “Am….am I that strange or something? Tell me…what’s wrong with me?”
Jessica held back her own tears. As much as she could understand Sasha’s anger, she too felt alienated. She felt damned for her desires. But she cast her own self loathing and self pity aside, bolted around the coffee table and wrapped Sasha in her arms. “Nothing is wrong with you…nothing at all. You’re amazing. You’re awesome. You’re smart, pretty, and all that stuff that everyone likes.”
Sasha turned to Jessica then leaned her head on the brunette’s arm. “I just…I dunno. I need more than just…..attention. I need….”
Before Jessica could think another thought she took Sasha’s head in her hands and looked into her tear filled eyes. “You need….this…” and she leant forward closing the distance between her and Sasha. The great chasm filled with all the tension and fearful potential Sasha dreaded was bridged softly with the honest, pure, tenderness of Jessica’s lips touching hers.