A Frank Conversation

“I don’t get it.”

“What don’t you get? Or maybe, more importantly, why does it matter?”

She looked at him with indignation, “I’m your fiancée, I have a right to know.” She flicked her long brown hair out of her eyes and tucked it neatly behind her ear. Jen scrutinized Max’s demeanor like a beat cop would a lowly street thug. “We are supposed to tell each other everything and know why we’ve done the things we’ve done.”

Max scoffed at her with a grunt, “You talk like you’ve learned everything about relationships from that shitty Seventeen magazine you read. Why do you even read it now? You’re almost thirty. Isn’t that embarrassing?”

She scowled, “stop trying to change the subject Max-  I play video games in my basement -amillian.”

He shrugged. “Well, your point is moot anyways. I told you everything already. It’s not up to me to make you understand. If you don’t get it that’s your problem, not mine.”

“Ok fine. Maybe I don’t have to get it but I still would like you to explain it. I mean it doesn’t make sense to me. If you’re not gay, why did you let a guy suck you off?”

Max chuckled. It sounded so strange to hear her say these things out loud but she did have a point. It was weird he supposed, “I don’t know. It was just…easier.”


“Yeah. Like gay guys, they know you’re not looking for a relationship. They’re not expecting it.”

“But doesn’t that make it shallow? How can you get all excited if you’re not even attracted to the person who’s sucking your dick?”

“Dicks don’t have eyes hun. They don’t care. If shit feels good it feels good no matter who’s doing the deed.”

“Seriously? So you can have some fat cow of a woman all sweaty stinky and whatever gobbling down your dick and you’d still be all for it?”

“If she’s doing a good job yeah. But most chicks aren’t really that good at sucking cock.”


“They’re not. It’s just, I don’t know, they’re less invested in the process. It’s like this is a chore they have to do. Like it’s on the level of vacuuming before company comes over.”

Jen laughed, “So the women before me were really bad then?” She found herself pleased with this. It’s always nice to know you’re the star of our lovers sexual memory.

“Uhh,” Max looked at Jen clearly calculating which words would sting the least.

“No. No. No! Are you seriously lumping me in with girls that suck at sucking?”

“Look you wanted, to be honest, and you wanted to get it, so you can’t really decide after that little rant that you would rather not hear the truth.”

“So you’re saying in not good at blowjobs?”


Jen relaxed. “Ok.” Then she scowled, “wait. No, I’m not good or no you’re not saying that I’m not good.”

Max bit his lip nervously,”No you’re not good.”

“You mean compared to these gay guys.”


Jen slapped him on the shoulder and the room echoed with a loud crack of skin on skin. “What the fuck?”

“You wanted me to be honest and if I’m going to be honest, you’re not very good.”

“But you’re always moaning and grabbing my head and shit.”

“I moaned to encourage you. I grabbed your head because you needed guidance. Not because you were good but because you’re pretty bad.”

Jen looked at him in anger but felt hurt simultaneously. Granted she wasn’t one to be proud of her exploits in the bedroom and have her prowess define her, it still seemed like an insult. “So why then. Why are these guys so much better than me? Is it because they’ve got a dick too so it’s like having a cheat code or whatever?”


“See that’s the issue right there.” Max pointed at Jen and she sneered at him. “Girls think that every dick is the same. Put mouth here. Lick a little here. Tug roughly here and that should be enough. Girls constantly bitch about how guys don’t spend enough time on foreplay when they spend even less!” Max put his arms up emphatically and Jen slapped him again on the shoulder. “It’s the truth, Jen. Your gender is master of hypocrisy.”


She slapped him again and he winced this time, “that’s such a load of crap. I suck on you about as much as you go down on me!”


“Nah you really don’t and even if you did it’s about quality, not quantity.”


Jen snorted, “You’re lucky I do it at all.”


“And there it is again. I’m lucky for what attention you provide. I’m lucky to have you blindly and roughly fondly my most sensitive parts. Lucky huh? You see the problem here?”


She crossed her arms in an attempt to stop from hitting him again.


“When a guy goes down on me it’s like, that’s his world. He wants nothing more from me. He’s devoted to making my pleasure his priority. He’s down there and not thinking that he’s got to put in a couple of minutes worth of effort to run out the clock and get on with me time again. He’s down there and fucking worshiping my cock like it’s the fucking statue of David.”


Despite her anger, Jen chuckled, “That’s so gay.”


“Yeah, but if you want to be better that’s what you’ve gotta do. How do you think I do it when I go down on you?”


Jen rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She tried to dismiss his point but it was, unfortunately, accurate. Max was amazing. He had this ability to get her toes to curl within a few minutes, then tease her for what felt like hours as she rode along a wave of pleasure just slightly below the threshold of an orgasm. If she begged for release, he’d make her wait longer. If she squirmed for more pressure he’d give it and then take it away again making her squirm even more. By the time he had decided she’d been teased enough Jen felt like she was going to wet the bed with her climax. Before Max, Jen had never had an orgasm that she didn’t do herself. Once she knew how it felt, she was an absolute addict. “I guess you’re alright.”


“So you can see how if someone put that sort of energy into it, like what I do for you, how that would totally change your acceptance of who was doing the deed?”


“I guess, but–I don’t know.”


“Really? Think about it for a second. If you had, let’s say, some good looking masseuse, and she’s rubbing your back and shoulders and getting you all limbered up and relaxed…”


“–this sounds like a porn.”


“Oh, it’s used so much it’s a trope. But tell me, Jen. Let’s say you’ve got this chick, and she’s already got her hands all over you. Your body has already accepted her touch and welcomed it. Your mind has already accepted and grown to enjoy the soft touch of another woman. If you took away your inhibition or fear of letting another woman becoming intimate with you, how do you think you’d react?”


Jen looked away from Max and off into the distance. The view of the city from this vista was spectacular. “I don’t know.”


“You’re naked, her hands are on you. Your body is relaxed. Your nerve endings are primed. You can feel your skin buzzing at her touch and then–”


Jen took in a little more air as she felt as if she was there, “–no”


“–she touches you, with her tongue. She’s an expert. Her soft lips and tender tongue coaxing your body to open up to her. No stubble. No roughness of a man. Soft, tender smoothness of a woman that only wants to pleasure you. Could you even help it? She’s just so good–”


“–stop it.”


“–her tongue and lips searching out all the secret places on your body. Making you squirm. Making you close your eyes and just go with it.” Max stared at Jen. She had turned away and scrunched her eyes tightly shut. Reaching out for her he let his hand run softly down her arm from shoulder to wrist and she jumped at his touch with a sharp gasp. “Do you think you could resist? Would you even want to?”


She opened her eyes and turned to him, “Fuck you, Max. Fuck you and your fucking smooth talking motherfucking tongue.” Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes darted about excitedly. 


Max smiled and gripped her wrist pulling it up towards his mouth his kissed and licked at her flesh. “Oh, my. Is it true Jen? Do you secretly have lesbian thoughts?” His eyes twinkled as he continued to softly nibble on her wrist.


She shivered and pulled her hand away, “Fuck off.”


“So yes then?”


She stared at him. His black hair slicked back perfectly. His blue eyes never leaving hers. His strong shoulders leading to powerful arms and yet holding her with the gentlest of touches. “Maybe.”


“So then you do understand, don’t you?”


Jen nodded slowly. Hating the fact that he got the best of her. “I guess. But–”


“But what?”


“–well that still doesn’t explain why you let them fuck your ass.”




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