Chapter Eight – Nerves

 

By the time Jane had reached her home she was driving on automatic. The majority of her mental faculties had been absconded by a thoroughly delicious fantasy involving this mysterious Jack character. It wasn’t till she heard the security gate creak open that she realized she had already arrived home. She took a look over to her phone once more and sighed. It still hadn’t rung and Jane was a trifle disappointed. Next to the phone, however, was the little care package that Tabitha had thrown together. Jane grinned to herself like a child receiving a double helping of birthday cake. After she parked in the voluminous and utterly spotless garage, she snapped up the bag, her phone, and her purse and quickly jettisoned herself from the vehicle.

 

Once inside she disabled the alarm and quickly placed her phone and purse on the front hall table. Jane took a deep breath and checked the home phone for messages. She smiled gratefully as the machine bleeped back telling her there were none. “Good.” she said to herself quietly, “Didn’t want to hear anything you wanted to say anyways.” she sneered at the answering machine talking to it as if it’s passive uncaring plastic exterior was her husband Nathan’s face. Quickly she hustled through the kitchen with her care package. At the back of the kitchen there was a small door within the pantry that lead to a set of narrow stairs that headed down to the basement. She bounded down the stairs as she head to her little private sanctuary within the cavernous house; her darkroom.

 

When the house was constructed Jane had requested only one thing for herself. In truth, it wasn’t that she requested only one thing, it was actually that Nathan had allowed her only to make one request. The rest of the house was designed according to Nathan’s vision. From the selection of materials, colors all the way down to the choice of doorknobs. There wasn’t a single thing in the building that didn’t have Nathan’s fingerprints on it. So with her one wish she asked that she had a darkroom.

 

When she and Nathan had met years ago, photography was her passion. It was a casual hobby that she wished to one day develop into a career. Before that happened, however, she met and had married Nathan. He insisted that she quit her job as his income was far more than adequate to support them both. Of course it made sense at the time, and Jane was all too willing to be wooed away from her own pursuits with the promise of material wants being satisfied. Over time, however, her own hobbies, passions, and intellectual cravings began to take a back seat to Nathan’s. It had been some time since she came down here to develop her own photos. Instead it became that the one place she could have sanctuary from Nathan’s influence.

 

She didn’t want to be reminded of her husband. She didn’t want to see his face or catch the faintest whiff of his cologne. She wanted quiet, calm, and peace. But above all else she wanted a secure place that she could finish the fantasy that she began in the car.

 

Jane locked the door to the dark room and turned on the blood red safelight. She reached into the bag. She bit her lip and chuckled as she retrieved the furry handcuffs, twirling them playfully on her finger before placing them down on the counter. She sat down on the large leather recliner in the room and fished her hand into the bag once more. This time she grabbed the box labeled “SuperLube” and placed it on the floor next to the recliner. Last to make it’s appearance was the wand shaped device labelled “Personal Massager”. Jane giggled to herself and rapidly opened the package like it was Christmas morning. She looked over the massager with fascination, looking at the speed selector, the intensity indicator, and the type of vibration. It was more complicated than she first assumed. Jane flicked different switches and knobs before realizing it needed batteries. Luckily, however, she had a large selection in a cabinet at the back of the room. Quickly she jumped up and grabbed a package of batteries before returning to the leather recliner she was sitting on. After fiddling for a moment the batteries dropped into place and immediately the massager started gyrating all over the place.

 

“Oh shit.” Jane laughed out loud before finding the on off switch.

 

She took a quick look at the massager, then the SuperLube, and back at the massager. “Well, don’t think I’ll need you this time.” she giggled to herself talking to the package of SuperLube. She could feel already how damp she was at the moment. With glee she wiggled out of her panties and ran her finger up her thigh to her moistening sex, “Now where were we Jack?” Jane took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment returning to the waking dream she had started earlier during her drive.

 

In perfect clarity, she imagined his voice appearing behind her ear, “We were right here,” came the reply. Jane trembled. It was as if she was watching and participating in this fantasy simultaneously. She watched and saw herself wilting into Jack like a flower that’s been left out in a heat wave.

 

“Jack?”, she heard herself say. She watched herself turn around and looked up at the handsome blue-grey eyed man. He smiled at her and his eyes seemed to twinkle as he did, his boyish grin melting Jane to her core. “I didn’t realize you were still here.” Jane whispered breathlessly, looking at Jack’s lips with ravenous desire.

 

Back in the darkroom Jane shifted in her chair. Her eyes tightly shut as she manipulated the massage wand where she needed more attention. She shuddered and gasped once more as she returned to her fantasy.

 

“Of course I’m still here.” Jack winked. Jane smirked to herself as she found her mind had placed them back in Tabitha’s sex shop. Both fantasy Jane and real Jane giggled. “Where else would I be Jane?” Jack smirked and cupped Jane’s chin with his index finger and thumb.

 

Jane imagined his touch as she ran her own fingers across her skin. His touch was gentle and electric. It sent vibrations of excitement through her. Jane audibly whimpered and felt herself dissolving into the fantasy. She felt it become real to her. The darkroom melted away and all that was left was Tabitha’s shop and Jack. Beautiful Jack. She felt the tall, well-built stranger brush her hair from her face and she trembled once more. She felt his lips graze her cheek, and she turned seeking them out. Jack pressed his lips into hers, the contradiction between the softness of his lips and the spiky stubble surrounding them caused Jane to jump excitedly and open her eyes. As she did she looked down to see his taut male frame pressing against her suddenly naked body. “Oh god.” she stammered, shuddering as the closeness of Jack’s presence sent shivers through her. “Oh Jack, but I–Nathan–”

 

“Do you think I care who you’re with or who you’ve been with Jane? You’re here now with me. That’s all that matters.”

 

“But–my husband.” Jane blubbered unconvincingly. She whimpered again as she felt Jack’s strong hands grip her shoulders tightly as he pulled her close. Softly he ran his hand across her back as he moved to cup the back of her head and tilt her mouth up to meet him.

 

“You deserve better my dear.” he whispered, before kissing her once more with tremendous passion. His fingers were entwined in Jane’s shoulder length blonde hair. As he kissed her she could feel the tension in her scalp as the her hair tugged gently away from her.

 

Jane felt her knees buckle briefly as he kissed her. She was so taken by him. He exuded strength, sensuality, virility, and power yet still managed to be so tender. He was a perfect combination and one Jane couldn’t remember ever experiencing before. “I–I don’t know if I can–resist you.” she admitted.

 

“Then don’t.” Jack stated obviously, winking at her. He let go of her and took a small step backwards. Jane felt the heat of his body leaving her nakedness and immediately missed it. “Now tell me Jane, why did you buy this?” He held up the leather crop in front of her.

 

Jane opened her mouth, closed it, and smirked. “I–I didn’t want to look like I didn’t have a reason to be here.” she blubbered.

 

Jack raised an eyebrow, “Sure.” he said unconvinced. He swung the crop up and down and Jane nervously bit her lip as she listened to it cut the air with a whoosh. “I think you’re lying Jane.”

 

She shook her head but said nothing, staring at the riding crop being swung to and fro.

 

“I think you bought this because deep down you wanted it.” Jack said softly. He cupped Jane’s chin again and kissed her on the cheek softly. “But you don’t want to use it,” he continued, whispering evilly into her tender ear, “You want it to be used on you.”

 

Jane shook her head, “No–no I just–” She attempted to move her hands up to gesture but suddenly she became aware that her hands were clasped behind her back. Turning to look behind her, she saw she was now secured by the same fuzzy handcuffs Tabitha had so excitedly given her. “Wait, what is happening?” she asked Jack in confusion.

 

“Whatever you want Jane.” he swung the crop through the air again and Jane tensed up nervously this time at the sound of it cutting through the still sex shop air. “You want me to use this on you. You know it. I know it. Why resist?” he asked with that same boyish grin.

 

“I–I–” Jane protested feebly. She watched in nervous horror as Jack held the crop high above his head. He brought it down slowly, then drew it across her naked breasts. The soft leather tassels at the end of the crop tickled her nipples delightfully. Jane found herself shivering again, despite her nerves. She watched as Jack drew the crop across her body with a masterful sense of precision that was more like a surgeon. Jane looked up into Jack’s eyes and once more became lost in them. In that moment Jack pulled the crop back and lightly tapped it against one nipple and then the other.

 

Jane gasped again. It wasn’t so much painful as it was a shock to her body. After the first contact she felt the flesh surrounding her nipples tighten up as both became increasingly erect. She bit her lip and looked back up at Jack. He stared directly into her eyes as if peering into her sou. Without breaking eye contact he lightly rapped the crop against both breasts and nipples. Jane felt her breasts lightly bounce in place as he did so. She tried, but she couldn’t maintain eye contact with her beautiful torturer. Jane shuddered and closed her eyes, but just as she did Jack swung the crop with a just enough ferocity as to slap the underside of her right breast. Jane squealed, but shockingly enough found she wasn’t as fearful of the pain as she would have expected. The point of contact warmed slightly and tingled.

 

Jack looked at the crop closely and nodded, “This was a good buy Jane. I’ll be sure to use this.” he drew it up the inside of her thigh and down the other, then back again. Jane twitched and grunted as the soft tassels teased her naked skin. Gently, and with expert precision, Jack drew the crop up against her exposed crotch and softly patted it with the end of the crop. “Mmmm, now that’s a tasty looking pussy.” Jack growled as he stared at her. Jane felt her knees weaken again.

 

Everything about this was foreign and delicious. She could hardly recall when the last time a man had looked at her with such wanton lust. She could feel his craving scratching at her flesh like the talons of some wild predator beast. His eyes devoured her. She was, ready, willing and needing to be consumed by him. Jack’s touch turned her skin to fire. His stare made her stomach quiver with excitement. She wanted to be his. To submit to his desires. To be his plaything, his toy. To fulfill his needs for her flesh like a lamb for the wolf.

 

Jane shuddered again. “Jane?” Jack softly asked. He was pressed against her now. His body naked against her restrained nakedness. “Jane?” he repeated.

 

Jane opened her eyes and looked up at him again, savouring the feel of his stiffening cock pressing against her stomach. She wanted so much to taste it. To feel its strong, heavy, maleness sliding past her lips and dancing across her tongue. “Yes?” she purred.

 

“Is that your phone?” Jack asked, sliding his hand down her back and roughly grabbing her ass before playfully spanking it.

 

Jane listened closely and heard the faint ring of her cell. She nodded, “Yes. That’s my phone.” she cooed wishing her hands were freed so she could touch him. She wanted to reach out and grab his stiff phallus. She wanted to squeeze it, pull on it, play with it.

 

“Don’t you think you should get it?” he asked gently, before biting her ear playfully and grinding his cock into her.

 

“Do I have to?” she asked, pouting.

 

“What if it’s me?” Jack replied.

 

Jane groaned and instantly the fantasy collapsed in on itself. Jane opened her eyes and she was back in the darkroom. She dropped the massager to the floor and shot off the leather recliner like a ballistic missile. She bounded up the stairs, taking them two at a time. As she reached the kitchen the ringing stopped, “Fuck.” she swore to herself.

 

Jane was suddenly aware of her own nakedness. She stood in the middle of the kitchen and for a moment marveled at how naughty it made her feel. Nathan did not approve of walking around the house in less than full dress. He chastised her that it was unsanitary and disgusting. The last time she tried to be spontaneous she attempted to serve him dinner wearing an especially provocative lingerie outfit. Nathan looked at her as if she was diseased and demanded she change, and serve him a different plate of food.

 

Jane looked at her reflection in the glass of the wall oven and smirked briefly before continuing on to the front hall. Once there she retrieved her phone from the front hall table and sure enough there was one missed call and now one new voicemail. Jane sighed to herself, lamenting missing Jack’s call. She dialed up her voicemail and listened to the message as she stood in the front hall.

 

“This is Jack. Tabitha gave me your number and told me to call you. I hear you might be in need of my–services. Call back at this number and let’s talk.”

Jane caught herself playing with breast as she listened to the charming voice on her phone, encircling and tweaking her nipple lightly. Jack’s voice rolled across Jane’s eardrums like auditory waterfall of sexual energy. It pulsated within her and through her. He wasn’t just a figment of her imagination anymore. He was–real. Jane shook her head as she realized she hadn’t actually listened to the message. She replayed it once more.

 

“This is Jack. Tabitha gave me your number and told me to call you. I hear you might be in need of my–services. Call back at this number and let’s talk.”

 

“Fuck he even sounds hot.” Jane said to herself before giggling. She quickly checked the time and decided to call him back. Remarking to herself how naughty she was being, she shook her head, but didn’t stop dialing.

 

After two rings she heard his voice. “Jack here.” he stated it with a confidence that made Jane take a quick breath.

 

“Uh–hi. Hi–it’s me, Jane.” she stumbled as she spoke. There was a sudden realization of who she was talking to and why. She stood in the front hall completely naked, and now was talking to a perfect stranger. Jane wasn’t sure if she felt empowered or frightened to death.

 

“Hi Jane, nice to hear from you.” Jack replied coolly..

 

“Same. I mean–nice to hear–uh. You.” Jane stammered. She shook her head at her own lack of confidence. It was annoying. Why now at this point could she not find the words? She stared at her naked reflection in the front hall mirror, frowned, and rolled her eyes.

 

“Jane,”

 

“Yes.”

 

“How about we be straight with each other for a moment here.” Jack said soothingly. His voice was delectable. He sounded like he should do voice overs for movie previews.

 

“Uh–ok.” Jane finally responded. Her voice was wavering with nervousness. Straight with each other? What was he going to ask her? What was he going to say? Jane’s stomach turned and she held her breath as she waited for Jack to continue.

 

“When Tabitha sent me your number, she already told you how we had met, didn’t she.” Jack asked directly.

 

Jane stood in silence. She caught herself nodding but not answering him directly. After a quick moment she answered softly, “Y–yes. She did.” She ended the sentence in almost a whisper.

 

“So you already know what I do.” Jack answered back gently.

 

Jane took a quick breath before answering, “Yes. I do.” In truth she was still fuzzy on the details. She had been so wrapped up in her own thoughts that her talk with Tabitha was a little clouded.

 

“And what do you think that is Jane?” his voice was less gentle this time. He nearly growled at her, commanding an answer.

 

“You–you have sex–with women.” Jane heard herself respond. She felt like she was standing on point on a balance beam, wavering between being frightened and being excited.

 

“Is that all Tabitha told you?” Jack growled again.

 

Jane blinked rapidly as she tried to recall the conversation. “Well–no. She said–you helped her break up with her husband.”

 

“And is that what you want?”

 

“I–I don’t know.” Jane answered honestly. It was the truth. She felt at the moment that she was standing at the precipice. Since the moment she caught her husband she found herself returning to the memory and questioning what she saw. Jane wasn’t truly sure what she wanted to do. She knew she was angry. She knew she felt hurt and betrayed, but she wasn’t sure if that meant it was time to throw a stick of dynamite on the marriage and watch it blow up.

 

“Do you love your husband?” Jack asked coolly.

 

“Yes–I–well. I’m not sure anymore.” Jane stuttered. She found herself reviewing the last few years of the relationship in a blink of an eye. Was it that things were going down hill or had she just become so accustomed to her life of abundance that she was making excuses to find something new? Jane shook her head and looked at herself in the mirror again. She stared into her own eyes as if to search out the answers to all of these questions. She found nothing. She saw nothing. She only saw a naked woman staring back at her.

 

“Does he treat you well?” Jack asked softly.

 

“Yes–well. No.” Jane was wincing at each new question. Why was it so hard to answer him?

 

“Which is it Jane.” Jack probed.

 

“Material and means, yes. Everything else, no.” Jane clarified with an irritated sigh. It annoyed her to have to answer this question. Some how, Jack was able to, with little effort, pull back the veil of her apparent happiness and probe the darker depths beyond the facade. It made Jane uncomfortable, and yet she let him continue.

 

“So in the ways that do not matter, you are cared for. In all the ways that do matter, you are not.” Jack summarized with a harshness Jane was used to.

 

“Yes. I guess you’re right.” she sighed. She slumped her shoulders forward and took a long aggravated breath.

 

“So he puts you down.” Jack continued to push.

 

“Yes.” Jane answered curtly.

 

“Belittles you.”

 

“Yes.” she responded again.

 

“Makes you feel worthless.”

 

Jane sighed, took a deep breath and answered again, “Yes.” She felt her hands balling into fists, pushing her perfectly manicured nails into her palms painfully. She looked up again, looking at the woman in the mirror again and seeing a tear streaking down her cheek.

 

“Well Jane, it’s quite simple. If he treated you like shit, he deserves to be treated like that back.”

 

“I know,” Jane sniffled, “I know. Really I do. But part of me…..part of me….liked it.” she tightened her fists again. It was a reality she had never admitted aloud.

 

Nathan was like a force of nature, and Jane was happy to be caught in his path. He swept her up and pulled her with him wherever he pleased. Jane saw him as strong, powerful, and enticing despite any faults he had. There was a comfort to that.

 

“You liked it?” Jack confirmed.

 

“I know it doesn’t make sense, but…sometimes….I like…being dominated.” Jane stammered, trying to justify her answer. It wasn’t until recently that she had even discovered that word applied to her situation. For the longest time Jane just thought she was attracted to strong willed men.

 

“I see. Well….if you like it, why do you need me?”

 

“Because–” Jane stopped herself contemplating how much she wanted to share with Jack. On a whim she continued, “–it doesn’t happen anymore. Because nothing happens anymore. Because–” she paused again and took a deep breath, “–because if he can go and fuck someone else–so can I.” she finally blurted. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as she spoke. Like a wild cat puffing out at a predator she felt angry, aggressive, and ready to fight.

 

After a brief moment Jack asked, “So when would you like to meet?”

 

“Tonight?” Jane responded quickly. There was a fierceness within her that was growing. She liked it.

 

“Tonight will work. What’s your address?”

 

“I’ll text it to you.” Jane replied. She noticed the tone in her voice had changed and she smirked to herself. She looked back up at herself in the mirror and now saw a stronger woman.

 

“See you in a little while.” Jack replied soothingly.

 

“I’ll be ready.” Jane bit her lip mischievously and hung up the phone without looking at it. She looked herself over in the mirror. Her youth was slowly slipping away but she still could look at her body with pride. Soon, she would be sharing this body with another man. A man who wasn’t her husband. A man, who knew how to be a man. She winked at herself and instructed her reflection, “Better get ready bitch.” and giggled as she bolted up the stairs to the master bedroom.

 

Jane felt her heart racing. Her hands were flying through the closet pulling out several different dresses but the moment she stopped grabbing clothes they started shaking. “Big breaths Jane.” she whispered to herself. “Jesus fuck what do I wear?” There was a bulging pile of designer dresses flopped on the king sized bedspread. She fiddled with them, holding one up to her body, then another only to drop both and grab a couple more. Jane swore under her breath again. “He’s going to be here soon. Hurry up Jane. Fuck!” Quickly she decided on a long elegant white dress. She had worn it once three years ago at a New Years Eve party at Nathan’s downtown office. Nathan hardly even noticed her.

 

Jane shook her head and driven by spite, immediately dove into her underwear drawer determined to find something downright salacious. She pawed through the large selection of unworn underwear sighing and muttering under her breath. So many pretty lacy things that have never seen the light of day. She settled on a matching pair of bra and panties that she knew would get Jack’s attention. After thinking for a moment she picked out a garter and a pair of stockings to match. She smirked to herself imagining Jack’s response. Having his eyes trail over her body hungrily. Jane craved that desperately. She let out another sigh, then slowly and deliberately adorned her naked body with the clothes she had selected.

 

Once she was done Jane looked at herself in the full length mirror within her cavernous walk in closet. Satisfied, she scooped the rest of the clothes off the bed and chucked them into the closet before closing the door quickly. After checking herself once more in the ensuite bathroom mirror she did a little touch up to her makeup and splashed a drop of perfume behind each ear. She would have to remember to shower thoroughly after Jack left though. Nathan would surely recognize the additional perfume on her skin and question why this was.

 

Jane took a deep breath and checked the time. Jack would undoubtedly be arriving soon. She made her way down the stairs and turned abruptly towards the kitchen. Retrieving a glass and a bottle of wine she filled it and immediately gulped it down, hoping that the alcohol would calm her nerves.

 

Jane, as much as she wanted this, was scared. What would happen if Nathan found out? What would she do? How would she survive? She had no career to fall back on. She had only Sarah and her mother that she could count on in a crisis. Jane rubbed her brow roughly. “What am I going to do?” she asked herself out loud.

 

From the front hall she heard the chime indicating someone was at the front gate. She poured herself another glass of wine and headed towards the front door. As she arrived she pushed a button located below a small display showing Jack waiting at the gate. The gate swung open immediately and Jack winked at the camera as he drove by. Jane felt her body shiver and she quickly gasped before taking another sip of wine.

 

Jane could see the lights of Jack’s vehicle approaching. She pulled open the front door and stepped outside to wait. She stood and watched as the car rumbled towards her, hoping her stance concealed the nervousness she felt. Her body felt like it was shaking. She gripped the glass of wine even tighter and took one more sip.

 

The shiny silver car came to a stop right in front of her. As soon as it did the handsome man from her dreams stepped out and began to walk around the vehicle towards her. He was delicious. His hair was impeccable, as if he had just stepped out of the salon. His clothes were clearly tailor made. Jane looked down to his feet and marveled at the expertly shined shoes that also looked hand made. He held his hand out and smirked at Jane. She quickly thrust her hand back at him awkwardly.

 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Jack.” he said soothingly. His voice was as charming as the rest of him. Perfectly clear, well spoken, and delightfully male.

 

“Jane.” was all she could muster before Jane grabbed Jack’s hand and shook it almost violently. She was immediately surprised at it’s warmth and how smooth it was. She looked down at his hand nervously as she felt her entire body heat up at once.

 

“There’s no reason to be nervous Jane.” he consoled her sympathetically.

 

He looked into Jane’s eyes and she melted. She was captured in them like a moth to the flame.

 

Jane finally replied, “I know. That’s what the wine is for.” She immediately regretted the statement. It made her sound like she was weak and unsure of herself.

 

“Good. I’d like that.” he responded. He seemed to ignore her blushing awkwardness.

 

Jane fiddled with her hair and smiled as Jack opened the door for her. She walked through into her home catching a whiff of his masculine musk in the air as she passed by him. She let the smell fill her nostrils completely before finally slowly exhaling. As she did she realized that the larger athletic man was now walking right behind her. Quickly Jane looked over her shoulder at him and smiled as confidently as she could. It wasn’t till she was facing forward again that her brain finally caught up and realized Jack was staring at her body.
Jane nervously walked through the front hall straight to the kitchen, “Let me get you a glass.” she mumbled before retrieving a long stemmed wine glass as well as the wine itself. She placed her glass on the counter beside his and filled them both. “So–so what happens–now?” Jane asked quietly, hiding her face behind the large wine glass as she took another sip.

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