Who are you?

I often wonder who the people are that read my blog/writing. What they like or dislike. Are they single, married, divorced. I don’t have statistics on these sorts of things. It seems the only thing that binds us together is the fact that I write filthy erotic smut, and you enjoy reading it.

So here’s the thing; this site, what I write, and how I think, it’s all a big secret. There is but one person in my real life that knows how I think and what I write, and though she is very supportive, she is completely unavailable. It’s heartbreaking to a certain extent. We are each attracted to the other and both accepting of our freaky side. Like me, she keeps her inner freak hidden. It lays in wait hoping beyond hope that her boyfriend will step up his game. She wants him to be more aggressive. She wants him to pull her hair more, spank her, call her names, use her and fuck her like it’s their last night on earth. (essentially everything I’d do given the opportunity…and she knows it *sigh* )

But she’s afraid to ask for this. She’s afraid that if he knew what she liked that he’d think she was weird or crazy. So even though she desperately wants it, she keeps quiet and pretends that their sex life is enough for her.

But here’s the big question…….what if he is in fact…exactly like me?


What if he is actually just as freaky as her?


What if the only thing that is holding him back is the exact same fear that holds her back. The fear of frightening or hurting her. I know that this is exactly what debilitates me in my relationships. It’s conceivable that he has the same fears and worries.


This is the burden of the outwardly “normal” human that is really a closet sexual fiend. Risking a relationship for the sake of a little more in the bedroom. Most of the time we just end up holding back and never letting our significant other realize our devilish potential. It’s what leads to feelings of regret and being unfulfilled. At it’s worst it leads to cheating, or resentment towards our significant other. As if it was their fault for not knowing what we really need.


So what is the solution? How do you tell your boyfriend that you liked to be choked without looking like a crazy person? How do you tell your wife you want to watch her with another man without being a freak? The fear of losing someone castrates us from reaching the dizzying heights possible with the sensationally beautiful facets of human sexual experience.

Well now that I’ve lead you down the garden path to dread and depression; there is a possible solution for those willing to attempt it.


There is a website called  mojoupgrade.com that can solve this conundrum quite easily.

You and your s/o go to the site individually and fill out a relatively comprehensive survey of wants and needs. For example:


have longer teasing and foreplay sessions with Miss:  no / we already do that / if my partner is interested / yes!!

film ourselves having sex: no / we already do that / if my partner is interested / yes!!

be watched by Sir while I masturbate: no / we already do that / if my partner is interested / yes!

show Miss how I like something from porn scene: no / we already do that / if my partner is interested / yes!!

etc etc etc


Once you’ve filled out your portion of the survey, and your significant other has filled out their portion, you both get the results.


You only see the results of the questions that both parties have said they’re interested in!! Brilliant right?!

So from the previous examples lets say “Sir” said “Yes!!” film ourselves having sex; and “Miss” said “If my partner is interested” to the same question. Then both parties would see that result and the answer each gave.

Conversely if “Miss” said “No” to be watched by “Sir” while I masturbate; and “Sir” said “Yes!!”….the result would not show and the question would not be in the results thereby keeping “Sir” from appearing to like something “Miss” wasn’t at all interested in.


Do you see how this could potentially reawaken stumbling relationships? Or perhaps add even more fire to a passionate one?

So whoever you are, and whatever reason you’re on my blog, if you’re in a relationship right now I’d highly recommend doing this. It takes very little time and you never know, you may find out that the dainty polite church lady you’re married to is actually the dominatrix you always wish she was. 😉


Best wishes..and happy fornicating you delicious wierdos!







Lies…they’ll hurt you in the end…

I had a martial arts instructor who was big into the supernatural (and utterly false) side of martial arts. He used to say frequently and with great conviction, “When you’re chi is strong enough you can block any incoming strike.” 

I thought it was plausible. I was young, and all I knew about martial arts was gleaned from over the top movies. He was my superior, both in age and skill. He was a 4th degree black belt and knew far more than I did. So I dutifully took his word for it.


But lies, even the lies we tell ourselves, will hurt the liar in the end. 


Asked to help with a demonstration I was pulled up to the front of the class to issue a strike towards my sensei which he would expertly block, and parry. 

So he instructed me, “High punch, aim for my nose.” 

“Yes sensei” I replied.

I punched. There was a loud “thwap” followed by a deafening silence.


I had broken his nose.

….so much for his chi.