Truth #21

Do you believe in monogamy?

I’m not sure how to exactly answer this question.

I mean, clearly I am aware if its existence. Most relationships I’ve had were intentionally monogamous. But do I believe in it? What does that even mean?

I don’t think that monogamy is something you believe in or don’t believe in. It’s a state of existence that you choose. Whether you choose to subscribe to a monogamous lifestyle, a polyamorous lifestyle, or an asexual lifestyle is totally up to you. I don’t think that one is more acceptable or more correct than the other.

Personally, I think that monogamy is “easier” to handle. It’s the current status quo. It’s what’s anticipated and accepted socially. In my opinion, however, it seems like a very possessive choice. Even in the more common wedding vows you hear, “to have and to hold”. The implication is you are mine. I possess you. I own you and you own me. I understand that there is a lot of comfort that people derive from this stability, but it feels constricting to me.

These are feelings that are in flux at the moment. I’m working it out day by day. Am I truly polyamorous, or am I just a horny fuck that wants more than one type of pie at the buffet.

When I think about it now, I think that polyamorous relationships may possibly be the natural tendency that people lean towards. As I look back at my own life I can honestly say that early relationships were fraught with fear, jealousy, and all the nastiness that comes with them. But with maturation comes a growing confidence of who I am. I feel less concerned with such petty things. I’m no longer the jealous type. I don’t judge or at least I’m slower to judge. I feel it’s easier to accept the differences in others because I’ve come to terms with the differences within myself. I feel it’s easier for me to love others and appreciate who they are because of my growing ability to love myself. In that way it seems to me that as people get more comfortable within their own skin, they may tend towards the same feelings I’m expressing.

I think I’m rambling now so I’ll bring this to a swift conclusion.

Do I believe in monogamy? Yes, but I don’t believe it to be the only choice, just the easiest.



One thought on “Truth #21

  1. i believe in pair bonding…this doesn’t mean sexual monogamy. i think you know someone better when you can create and share a life together. the longer i am with someone, the more i can refine myself to meet their needs. i was faithful for 22 years..not because it was a struggle or a choice..but because i only wanted him.


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