Truth #3

Do you have any addictions?

I was surprised at this question, and I was also surprised at it’s selection for this weeks truth. Apparently people want to know if I’m addicted to anything.

Well that’s difficult to answer.

ad·dic·tion – [uh-dik-shuh n] – noun

the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

Based on that definition, the answer would invariably be no. However I will modify it for the sake of discussion. Instead of cessation causing severe trauma, I would say “cessation causes discomfort”.

If I use this more broad definition, the answer is a big hefty yes.

First Addiction – Hockey

I’m addicted to playing hockey. I’m Canadian, so I’ve been on skates since I was three. (not an exaggeration) I played on my first organized hockey team when I was 5. It was a “7 and under” team, and though I was well under the 7, I played anyways. For a period of time I didn’t play hockey. University years specifically. I didn’t have the time or the cash to keep up with it. The first year I stopped playing I found myself more easily aggravated. Quick to snap. Quick to judge. Prone to road rage. Prone to violence against inanimate objects. Oh, and I also gained 20+ lbs. The next year, more of the same, but by this time it was my new “normal” so the symptoms weren’t noticeable by me until I looked back on how I was acting.

The year I returned to hockey, after a 5yr absence, my attitude completely corrected itself. I mellowed out. I started to let the mild daily nuisances wash over me instead of fixating on them as personal attacks. In essence I corrected my withdrawl symptoms by resuming my weekly intake of hockey.

To be clear, watching hockey does absolutely nothing for me. I don’t mind the NHL, the AHL, world juniors etc, but watching the game is no where close to the same release as playing it.

Now for the most obvious addiction. Sex.

I’d probably say I was definitely a sex addict…if only I had more regular access to the drug. My brain is constantly washed in sex. Constantly thinking about it. Writing about it. Musing about it. If it wasn’t for daily or twice daily masturbation I’d likely go crazy. Without that release that a good orgasm gives, I can’t concentrate. I’m nearly useless at work and I get nothing done at home. I have come to terms with my high sex drive and have gone to great lengths to mask it so as to not come off as a creepy weirdo. That being said, this mask I wear only works when I’m properly rested. If I go for long stretches without adequate sleep more often than not I will catch myself doing inappropriate things, or saying inappropriate things. Flirting with people I shouldn’t flirt with, looking up questionable material when I’m at work….all that sort of potentially harmful behavior. The truth is, most of my writing, maybe about 80-90% is written while I’m at work! I’m master of the alt-tab window switch. Perhaps most conveniently, I’m the most technologically savvy guy in the office, so it usually falls to me to maintain the network. Suffice to say, there isn’t any monitoring software that gets installed without my knowing, and being that I’m the one that would set it up…my ip address has a tendency to be….missed. 😉 Shhh don’t tell.

Ok that’s enough for now. Please be sure to vote for the next truth in the the sidebar poll. What is the next thing I should reveal? (and no worries….penis is not an option hahaha)


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